Introducing the “Worst Retirement Ever”

I’m proud to announce my plans for 2017: “The Worst Retirement Ever,” so named because it will have lots of pain, suffering, and leg-shaving, with none of the glory of posting up in front of a cheering crowd or joking around on the bus with my teammates.

Mostly, I’m starting a real job at Wasserman, but I’ll train before work just like you (except faster), and on weekends, I’ll chase hillclimb records on climbs of YOUR CHOICE. You vote where I go on my Facebook page, and then come say hi, share a cookie, try to hang on if you want. Castelli will film and produce ten “missions” on my YouTube channel for your entertainment.

My bike will not be UCI-inspected, and I’m going to take full advantage of that (no, I don’t mean a motor). Pretty much every major gear and clothing company wanted in on this project, so I was able to pick the lightest, fanciest, and most obnoxious equipment on the market. I’ll wear a speedsuit from Castelli, which may or may not be covered in cookies, and you’re going to be angry when you see what my new Cannondale weighs. There will be Strava haters.

I’d like to thank Cannondale, Mavic, Castelli, Clif, Camelbak, Arundel, Velofix, New Balance, Orucase, ISM Saddle, Oakley, and Chamois Buttr for the help with Phil’s Fondo and the YouTube project. See below for the rest of my sponsors, and please subscribe to the email on the right to make sure you get my updates.